I’ve been working on this gig report all day.  Unfortunately, Seth beat me to the post.  Fortunately, our reports don’t overlap much.

As have most musicians, I’ve often left a gig with food.  Sometimes with left-over veggie trays.  Sometimes with as many cookies as my pockets will hold.  Sometimes with still-wonderful green beans inadvertently placed in the dumpster.

Never though, have I left a gig with a culinary delight as delectable as the one I was given this weekend.  (I’m sure you can see the photo.  If not, try Firefox or check your computer for viruses.  Or, if you’re inside Facebook, click ‘View original post.’)  There are no photographic tricks involved in the taking of this picture; no illusions of perspective, no mini milk cartons.  No, my friends, what you have here is a genuine GALLON OF EXTRA HEAVY MAYONNAISE.  (Yes, the real thing, not the white rapper from Philly.  Ba-da-bum.)

Extra Heavy!  Did you notice?  I assume this means it’s already more consistent with the fat it’ll eventually become.  ”How much does a gallon of mayo weigh?” you ask.  I’m not sure.  I’ll weigh myself in a month and let you know how much I’ve gained.  Have a favorite mayonnaise recipe?  Comment back.  I’ll need all I can get.

I’ve found some promising options here: Mayonnaise Recipes.  I think I’ll start with the Tuna Spooks or the Lobster Asparagus Mousse.  For dessert I’ll be trying the Chocolate Mayonnaise Cake.  I can’t wait.

And just for the fun of it.

Caleb