This once was a cold man named Caleb
When a normal person thinks about fun, that normal person’s mind usually snaps immediately to archived pictures of merrily frolicking in ball pits or firing an Airsoft round into an unsuspecting friend’s back. Perhaps your normal brain recalls instances of baking brownies or apple pie for your very first time. Normally, a normal person will not hear the word “fun” and then associate it simultaneously with the memory of loading down a road-weary mini-van with miscellaneous sound equipment and necessities, cramming four spatially needy grown men into the remaining fissures, and then driving north by northwest to a state that stores up the nation’s surplus of bitter cold wind chills.
Then again, most normal people usually don’t get to play for Cornerstone Bible Church and their phenomenal youth group all in one tremendous day. This past weekend Stereoreel followed God’s calling (and the distinct voice of Ray Dutcher) to the Middlefield/Burton/Hunstburg area of Ohio. And if Stereoreel is anything, we’re certainly not normal…
We had never traveled to Ohio to play music before, and we weren’t entirely sure of what to expect. We discovered that the fastest way to get there is by traveling along a series of turnpikes and toll roads where, if your gas tank fails you, your stomach needs a fresh supply of calories, or your bladder reaches critical mass , you must pay the sinister Trolls their devilish Troll Tolls in order to exit the highway and attend to your business. If you don’t have the money to afford these impromptu occurrences, the gracious Trolls have placed genetically mutated rest stops at least 50 miles away from one another. These rest stops will pander to your needs accordingly since they are full of gas stations, bathrooms, and various restaurants like Starbucks, Hershey’s Ice Cream, and the occasional Doggery. Truly, a trip on the turnpike is a test of your mettle. A miscalculated expense at one of these rest stops will leave you begging the Trolls for mercy or scrounging for change on the floor of your vehicle. Either way, it looks like you’re groveling, and the Trolls like that. However, once you have bested the Trolls, you will find yourself entering a land that is wide and full of plenty of space, and smells like s’mores – a direct contrast to the automobile that we were traveling in.
We were unaware that the state of Ohio was named for your reaction to the bitter cold temperatures that are whipped through the area by an unforgiving wind. Exit vehicle – get slapped in the face by the winter air, “OH!” See a neighborly neigbor nearby – yell to pierce the elements, “HI!” Get smacked in the face by the wind again, “OH!” Repeat at infinitum. We did.
It looks so happy to be lunch
You may not know this either, but Ohio has the BEST PANCAKES IN THE WORLD. Apparently, March is Maple Syrup Season, and Ray knew this. After we led worship on Sunday morning, he took us over to the Rotary Club Pancake Breakfast. Though some of us were skeptical at having pancakes for lunch, our cynical sentiment was soon swayed. It would be an exercise in futility to attempt to describe in words the intense difference in taste fresh maple syrup (tapped straight from trees up the road) makes on your pancake breakfasting experience! Perhaps this will help you understand: MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM! It was a lot like that scene in “What About Bob?” where Bill Murray sits at the table, and with every new bite he exudes a new quirky exhortation of the delectable morsels. Those pancakes cannot be beat, and they were just the thing to keep us going through the concert later in the evening. I’m not too sure if the sausage was incredible on it’s own or if my judgement was momentarily jaded by the pancakes.
The Mighty Youth of Middlefield and Beyond
After our nap time, we made a beeline for the church and got our game faces on for that night. If we thought that Ohio had incredible pancakes, then the next logical step would be to assume that Ohio’s population of young people would be just as, if not more, awesome. Why? Think about it. Besides cereal and play-doh, what do parents feed their children for breakfast? Pancakes! If you are what you eat, and Ohio’s pancakes are the best pancakes in the world, wouldn’t it stand to reason that after the consumed cereal, play-doh, and glitter dust have taken their respective tolls (troll tolls?) on a child, the remaining positive effects of the pancakes will transform the tiny minors into pretty awesome human beings? I contend that this theory is sound. The synthetic additives of play-doh, glitter dust, and lead-based paint are almost necessary to keep your youngsters from developing far too fast and far too awesome for the rest of the world to handle. Superman’s pancakes came from Ohio.
He helped us tear down
The point of all this is that we had a great time playing for these teens. They sang along, they cheered, they screamed, they jumped up and down. You kids were as awesome as pancakes! I got to chat about Clapton and Cream with Vince, Ethan screamed “WAFFLES!” at the sight of a GIR shirt, Dustin tossed a broken stick into the ravenous crowd, and Caleb championed our CD giveaway and successfully captained the helm of our musical pirate ship while trying not to trip over Ethan’s untamed bass cord. If you have been unfortunate enough to cross paths with Ethan’s bass cord, you can testify to its being a foe most formidable when it comes to maintaining your equilibrium. Toss in the added pressure of singing like an angel and tickling the ivories, and you can see how Caleb had his work cut out for him. Through all odds, he came out on top and completely unmuddled. That is why he’s the band leader.
They watched me play guitar
This trip marked a lot of firsts for Stereoreel. Our first trip to Ohio, our first 2-show day, our largest crowd, the first time someone prophesied at the end of our worship set. It was also the first time any of us had been asked to sign someone’s sleeves. This privilege led us to the conclusion that we need to obtain better pens for these shows. Dustin had to resort to using a large sharpie so he could write his name in bold second-grade handwriting.
We all had a great time, and we even managed to survive the Troll Tolls on the way home! If we get asked back, we do have a request. Ask us back once in the Summer, so we can avoid the winter winds, and ask us back once again in March, so we can eat pancakes.