Archive for August, 2009
Chambersburg, PA – 08/26/09
Wednesday, August 26th, 2009When Worst Comes to Worst – West Point Makes Crab Cake Muffins
Wednesday, August 26th, 2009This post should have happened several days ago, but most of us in the band have finally cut through a weekend-induced fog which is a result of condensation on the focal lenses of the eyeballs. This is usually caused by an inordinate exposure to moisture during prolonged nighttime driving. The point is, I’m finally awake.
This past Friday the powerhouse glam-rock worship quartet (a.k.a Stereoreel) rode on down the road to West Point, VA to play for a multi-church event that was put on to help raise money to build a local youth center in that area. We were originally slated to play outside underneath one of the most awesome canopies mankind has ever engineered, and I would post a picture of it for you to see, except Ethan took the picture on his phone and Ethan is decidedly unawake.
Well, apparently God told Mother Nature to have other plans. Mother Nature took his advice and invited Hurricane Bill onshore. Bill brought some friends. They didn’t introduce themselves formally, but we’re fairly sure they were part of the Storm Cell Gang. Well, as soon as word came that the Storm Cell Gang was headed to West Point, Robyn (the organizer and mighty champion of the evening) gave the word to move the event indoors to the First Baptist Church a few blocks down the road. And Father Time was not on our side.
To be honest, it was looking fairly dismal at first glance. The kind of changes that had to be made and adapted to in order to make that night happen were overwhelming to some. It is very difficult to describe in words the sort of things that go wrong during these moments of improvisational organization (another term for chaos). Let’s just say, for one example, that in an effort to conserve and share space, the drummer for the church’s worship band wound up playing up in the baptismal…
However, the beginning of the good times occurred at dinner time when we were fed a local delicacy: CRAB CAKE MUFFINS!!!!!!!!!!!! I would drive 4 hours just to have another one of those amazing cakes! It was incredible! If we had our druthers, we would play a breakfast gig in Ohio during their super amazing pancake season and then fly down to West Point on the same day in order to have a feast of Crab Cake Muffins! We’re currently trying to pitch this idea to Dave. We’re relying on the cooperation of Ohioans and West Pointers.
After that, the entire night went off as pretty well near perfection as anyone could have asked. This group of about 70 people carried the electric energy of 1.21 Gigawatts, Marty! They were super enthusiastic. They clapped, they sang; THEY EVEN DANCED! I was shocked! The Holy Spirit really must have been moving in a powerful way, because we’ve never seen anything like that anywhere else we’ve played. At least in regards to dancing.
Well, afterwards they all came up and said hi. We got to take pictures with them and sign T-Shirts and just had a lot of fun hanging out with these gracious peoples of the South. All of us sincerely hope we get asked to come back one day!
Then we all drove home and went to sleep at 4 AM. The End.
West Point, Va – 08/21/09
Friday, August 21st, 2009Please Welcome Stereoreel and their Amazing Invisible Audience!
Monday, August 17th, 2009Few people are afforded the great honor and privilege of playing outdoors at a car show on the 40th anniversary of the Woodstock Music Festival, but we can proudly stand out among the crowd as a band who can lay an indisputable claim to that fame! And on a day where it was 94 degrees in the shade, we can proudly say that we were among the fewer to remain standing in the oppressive heat that scorched the land at Five Forks, PA on the 40th anniversary of the Woodstock Music Festival.
The sweat pouring out of our pores, we set up our equipment on the back of two flatbed trucks overlooking a sea of muscle cars glistening in the afternoon sun as waves of humidity rose visibly above the gathering of mechanical nomads. When finally the time came to play, we set ourselves to playing with all of our melting hearts. And mightily (or meltily) we played for all who drew near to hear! However, there was no crowd to be seen. For a total of 45 minutes we played, and not a soul materialized.
We later theorized that with the powerful combination of a 120 degree heat wave and a fantastic Stereoreel performance, the overwhelming sonic-heat caused anyone within 30 yards of the stage to be instantly vaporized. Another possibility that we’re floating around is that we were playing to a sell-out crowd of human beings who discovered the secret to turning themselves into pure energy. Regardless, we knew that people of some sort were present since we received an incredible amount of verbal praise through the word of mouth trickling down the shriveling grape-vine.
They may have been invisible, but they were as real as the sunburns on our faces.
The sun then demonstrated its power over music by causing Caleb’s laptop to overheat, tripping the thermal protection unit and causing his computer to shut down, rendering his piano useless for the remainder of Same God. The irony was that Lord, Help Me was the next song on our list. Quite fitting for a band on their way to losing a collective total of 30 lbs in water weight. It was during this lull that we noticed several people scramble out of the shade and run to the lemonade stand. This gives credence to our Vaporization Theory, since they quickly dove back under their cars before we began playing again.
So let it be known that Stereoreel holds one half of the key to the most destructive thermomusical weapon on the planet, but we prefer playing with air conditioning. That way we won’t be tempted to roll around in ice cream afterwards.
Avoid Volatile Texters: How to Recognize and Win
Friday, August 7th, 2009It is the 21st Century and your mouth is virtually useless unless you are ordering fast food. To combat this global outbreak, scientists quickly scrambled to invent a way for mankind to continue communicating quickly and efficiently without the use of their mouths or ears. The result was what we all know today as texting.
Though initially called “sign language” in the early 90s during the beta testing of this technology, it never quite caught on with the public due to its ineffectiveness at great distances. Field testing proved disastrous. It was during these tests that the widely used catch-phrase “Crush those turtles!” was coined after a misinterpreted signing led to unspeakable carnage at a nature preserve in the summer of ’92.
With the advent of cellular telephones, scientists understood that the ever-increasing mouth disorders would soon render the cell phone obsolete. However, realizing the potentials of the technology, they quickly utilized their research with the now-suspended Sign Language program and converted it into a new government sanctioned program called “Text Messaging.” Eventually, that technology led to the widespread use of the text message, and alleviated much of the problems associated with the rising inability to talk coherently.
Considered a boon to mankind, texting is a fast and fun way to “talk” to your friends and family (even strangers!), and can be used in a variety of applications. But like many things in this world, you’ve got to learn to protect yourself from the people who would use texting to cause another “Crush those turtles!” incident. These people have been dubbed “Volatile Texters.” Volatile Texters can disrupt your daily life and cause unnecessary problems with only one text, so it’s important to know how to recognize a Volatile Texter, learn how to abate their anger, and then take the necessary steps to avoid future altercations.
Volatile Texters look just like you and me. Some can even hold perfectly normal texting conversations for long periods of time. However, underneath their pleasant text messaging lies a volcano of torrential hostility just waiting to explode. Generally speaking, you can recognize a Volatile Texter if that person is chronically angry or abrasive in person or if they have a history of email and texting abuse. Unfortunately, more often these day you won’t know a Volatile Texter until you receive a text message of angry content from them. When this happens, follow these steps to diffuse the situation.
Step 1: Remain Calm
Do your best to not become angry yourself. Resist the urge to use common phrases like “drop dead” or “bite a squirrel.” You’ll need to be able to think clearly. This gives you the advantage, since Volatile Texters rarely think.
Step 2: Offer Clear Explanation or Apology (Deserved or Not)
It may pain many of you to do so, but quickly diffuse the situation by explaining what you believe to be the cause of this disagreement and offer an apology. The Volatile Texter will believe they have won, but you will never text them again, so who cares?
Step 3: Use Smiley Faces
Offer a joke or euphemism followed by a smiley face. It will confound the Volatile Texter at first, but persistent good will has an adverse effect on antagonism and will soon loosen tension. But be careful to not use “lol” or “haha” since these pretty much denote insincerity and may incite further outrage. Smiley faces are the surest way to indicate that there are no hard feelings, since the cute little icons that are used to represent them are just too adorable to get angry at.
Step 4: Avoid that Person like the Plague!
After diffusing the situation, make sure you don’t ever bother that person with a text as they have now been identified as a Volatile Texter. This will lead to fewer and fewer altercations in the future. However, in the case that the Volatile Texter is a loved one, take a different course of action – send smiley faces often, and only smiley faces. They’re like flowers that never die.
There you have it! You’re ready to text! Now that you know the proper steps to deal with a Volatile Texter, you can begin texting with renewed confidence. Go congratulate someone for a job well done; wish someone a happy birthday; make a marriage proposal! Texting is a wonderful means of expression! Just as long as you know the right way to keep safe, you can text with as many people as you want! It’s a big world and there’s plenty of people just waiting to text you!
Get out there and show somebody that you know how to communicate and communicate well! 