During our latest excursion to Cadence Group to lead worship, we met a young man named John. Or Jon. Quite frankly, the former spelling is more likely, but these sort of assumptions have gotten many people into a lot of trouble many times before. Spelling aside, the point is that we met a young man named Jahn. (Hey, it’s Kahn with a J!)

Now, Jean was a guitarist. In fact, he had brought his guitar with him to the show in a coffin case. Before he opened up the tiny sarcophagus, I began to wonder what I would do if he opened it up to reveal a cursed Dwarf-Mummy! Sure, he said it was a guitar, but evil masterminds always say their dastardly plans are something other than what they really are! 

How do you kill a mythical woodland creature?? How do you kill a mythical woodland creature who was preserved for centuries with the evil intentions of being reawakened one day to lay waste to the surface of the world and enslave the entire human race???? DON’T OPEN IT, JOHN!! DON’T OPEN IT! IT’S

….A guitar! Awesome!

At first, it didn’t seem completely out of the ordinary. The guitar was a tasteful bright pink that was adorned by simple, yet abstract strands of white electric tape, and was further complimented by a black headstock. Though it didn’t cry out, “GIRL POWER!” it was subtle enough to say, “I may be a girl, but I’m not too proud to have Target color-coordinate my cheerleader shorts.”

Johanne then lowered the boom on us. “It’s a Hello Kitty guitar!”

Noooohoho way!

He went on to describe in detail all of the steps that he took to transform the once purrrfect pre-teen pop performer into the now metal melting masculine meatgrinder. Ethan test drove it. It rocks. 

 The moral of this story? There really isn’t one. Perhaps, if you were looking for a point it would be that there are several variations of the name “John,” and like those unique departures from typical nomenclature, a guitar that is simply signified by the name “Hello Kitty” means absolutely nothing, unless you decide to love it.

Just like God’s love transforms our lives, a man’s love can transform a guitar… and make it useful.

Tags: Dwarf-Mummy, guitar, Hello Kitty